Here we go. Exposing my soul to the world, I guess. My name is Ashley, and I'm 25 years old (as my kids will so openly announce in even the most crowded of places.) Not that my age is anything to hide, but let's face it... I'm a 25 year old single mom of 2, and at a quarter of a century old, this isn't where I saw myself. I was overweight most of my life, so I always figured that, by now, I would be thin and statuesque and blahdy blahdy blah. You know, the standard belief so many of us hold for ourselves if we grow up as chubby little girls. I sat down recently and realized that the one thing me and my body had in common was this:
NEITHER OF US IS CHANGING!!!
So, I made a deal with myself that if we work together, we can do big things. Or little things. It depends on how you look at it? I'm tired of regrets and disappointment. I'm tired of looking at certain clothes and knowing that I could wear them IF my thighs weren't so big or my stomach wasn't so squishy and prone to muffin-top-ing. I'm tired of blaming mirrors and cameras and angles for how I look. Not because I'm ashamed of how I look, but because I'm ashamed of how I let myself feel about it. I'm amazing. AMAZING... UH-MAY-ZING! And it's time that I live up to my full potential.
Don't be confused. This isn't another "I'm going to be a size 2/4/6" (depending on the delusion of the person swearing this to herself) promise. I don't want to be wafer thin. The difference between me and Little Ashley is that I know that my body isn't build to walk a runway or grace the pages of Vogue Italia. I'm like a Lotus (amazing car, check it out if you have no clue)... I was built for curves. I like having a butt and thighs and breasts. I just wish there wasn't so much squish around them to distract from them. I wish I could run with my kids without feeling like I was dying after about the first 45 seconds. I wish I could climb to the top of a lighthouse without wondering how much it would hurt to just roll back down instead of walking it. I want to LIVE, and I don't want to sacrifice myself in the process. I'm on a mission to find new ways to cook, exercise, and be a better version of who I already am. Not a skinnier me... a healthier me.
This is a challenge. If you're reading this, I dare you to change something big about yourself that you're unhappy with. I dare you to do something you're afraid to try because you're afraid of failing. We're powerful creatures, and we deserve to be happy. Open up, dig down deep, and make this our year to finally do the things we've always wanted. (Unless it's highly illegal. I mean, naked parachuting onto the White House lawn or learning to graffiti on the side of your neighbor's house might sound exciting, but it's probably best that you don't.) This is my commitment to myself to do something different this year, and I hope that, eventually, there will be others with me along my journey.
